The Masks of a Very Special Agent
by Lolenone
Summary: Drabble on Tony's life and the masks he uses to hide behind. Oneshot.


Anthony DiNozzo prided himself on the fact that he was a fantastic actor.

He could flirt vital information out of any women – and at some point, any man, as well – and the fact that he talked and talked and talked, nonstop, often softened peoples resistance. They didn't really expect much from a handsome chatterbox.

But at one point in Anthony DiNozzo's life, the pride had dwindled into bitterness.

Why didn't anyone actually see through the mask?

The conflicting emotions within him fought with teeth and nails; scarring him in the worst way possible.

On the one side, the will to hide away behind the safe mask fought with such a determination that Tony often scared himself. On the other side the soft spoken emotion that surged up within him at the worst possible moments, wanted someone – anyone, really – to see through the many personas and wrap their arms around him.

Tony had become a master actor to the outside world, but also on the inside. It had become easier over time to just lock his emotions inside a box and hide it deep down in his pizza-craving stomach.

It had first started when his mother chose the cowardice way out of life; leaving him behind to suffer the consequences. She must have known that his father wouldn't take kindly to the only reminder of his once beautiful wife.

Little Anthony DiNozzo Junior had plenty a time heard his father slurring to himself how he should have married the right kind. The fact that his mother came from a prominent, _rich_ British family seemed to have flown out of his drunken mind.

Therefore, little Anthony tried his very best to please his father. He ignored birthday and Christmas presents from his maternal family and only spoke of his father to his schoolmates. No one needed to know his mother was of weak blood and had killed herself in the most pitiful way; his father's words.

But when nothing worked, Tony – he just couldn't let go of the nickname his mother had given him, no matter how much it gave him that _bitter_ taste in his mouth – made a totally different mask from scratch.

A mask that showed his father that he had given up; he became a quarrelling teenager set on vengeance for his father's ignoring and multiple young brides.

Tony continued to develop his different masks even after his father, in a rage, had enrolled him at a military school.

He enjoyed the mask he got to use once there; the cocky know-it-all with a sharp tongue and attitude issues mask gave him many a laughter – and many a detention.

Yet, he enjoyed it. They gave him boundaries, they told him what to do, they gave a crap; they weren't _weak_.

Then the anger came rushing forth. He had often wondered why had felt so numb towards his father. He didn't find an answer to his question, but the anger replaced the hurt confusion anyway.

So when his father finally re-emerged in his life when he was supposed to look for colleges, Tony lashed out in the most childish way. Tony cut his father off, before his father could cut him off.

The day Anthony DiNozzo Junior enrolled in Ohio State University was the last day Anthony DiNozzo Junior talked willingly with Anthony DiNozzo Senior.

College didn't start out as a walk on roses, as Tony had believed. The lessons were harder, the boundaries looser and alcohol easier to get a hold of. Without anyone really looking after him, Tony quickly spiralled down into a depressed state. Alcohol and one-night stands were his comfort.

That was until the football coach dragged him out on the field, and before he was christened into the holy fraternity of Ohio State University. But still, the mask had developed through the years, and 'little' Tony DiNozzo no longer really reacted when he changed masks between scenes in his daily life.

The layers became thicker, and the emotions faker by every year that passed.

It wasn't easy going to his 'weak' maternal family for a loan, but he put on an apologetic mask with a shy, sweet smile across his tan face. His uncle didn't hesitate for long before loaning him the money; Tony had his mother's green eyes, after all.

The first time one of his masks cracked, was when his at-the-time-girlfriend told him she was pregnant. He was going on his third year in college, and didn't have a chance of supporting a mother and child. He bit the crushing emotions away and faked a smile.

The next time a mask cracked, was the day his girlfriend miscarried. The emotions nearly drowned him then.

Tony enrolled in Police Academy because he didn't know what else to do. Well, the uniform and the fact that a lot of women were drawn to uniforms in general had helped. But the reason had changed.

His eyes opened as he walked down the street, seeing all the terrible things happening around him. He felt something he had never felt before; a burning feeling of wanting to _help_. So he gave all he had, and became a cop with the brightest recommendations.

A new mask was added to his growing collection, this one scarily close to what Tony really felt. Tony ignored the closeness, and added the humorous mask atop the cop mask. No one saw through the act.

Tony absently wondered, had wondered several times throughout his life, if he should have considered a life on Broadway instead.

Even though his bosses in the Police Departments were happy with his performance, and quickly gave him the Detective badge, Tony never stayed in one place. His blood wormed and scratched in his veins, making him jump town every other year.

That stopped when he met L. Jethro Gibbs; the second 'B' for bastard, a functional mute and a grade 'A' hard-ass.

He was the first person to see through the many layers that Tony had shrouded himself in. Therefore, Tony couldn't do anything but admire the man, and he certainly couldn't deny the job the older man threw in his face.

After that faithful time in Baltimore, Tony let the masks down when alone with Gibbs. And in return, Gibbs tolerated the jackass performance at work, as long as Tony actually _got_ the work done.

It greatly helped that Tony's mask more often than not actually helped solve the cases. It was, apparently, other interrogation techniques that were just as effective as his own, Gibbs had grumpily admitted.

Tony couldn't leave the only man that would know when to pat him one the shoulder, who knew when he needed that physical comfort only someone who understood could give; he couldn't leave the only boss who understood how he worked.

The pay check was better than a detective's pay check any way.

So he stayed. He played the part as the tense breaker and lazy jock that came with crude statements and annoyed his co-workers; and Gibbs tolerated it. He even found it a little amusing – secretly, of course.

Gibbs had, through the years, often gotten the question 'how do you stand it?' thrown in his face with both genuine curiosity and filthy venom. He only smiled a little smile, full of teeth and walked away.

They could wonder and ask all they wanted, but until they opened their eyes, they would never understand the complexity that was Anthony DiNozzo Junior, Very Special Agent.

* * *

><p>This was written while I was bored, and is not considered important or very serious. You disagree with what is written? Very well, you needn't tell me. Comments about my english is greatly appreciated, though.<p>

Review?


End file.
